We’re almost at the end of the holidays. You’ve paid your dues at Christmas and Hannukah dinner — dodging awkward questions by your relatives as you pass the peas all the while wondering what level of wrecked is appropriate at this family function. “No Aunt Carol, I don’t have a girlfriend,” and, “No Uncle Gene, these skinny jeans do not make me a faggula.”
Now that you’re back with your friends, and it’s time to get mortal in the streets on New Years Eve, I present a little guide to prepare yourself for an epic NYC New Years:
- Don’t travel in large groups — this should be a rule for any night out in the city. (except your birthday because, fuck it, it’s your birthday) If you still decide to, accept the fact that your wolfpack will get separated. (Either to get laid, deal with date drama, or go to a cooler party that they can’t bring anyone else.)
- STAY AWAY FROM TIMES SQUARE
- Transportation will be a nightmare — transportation app rates will surge, so make alternate plans or accept the fees. Inevitably there will be one girl who complains of her shoes and demands a cab… but hopefully Fred Flintstone will start whining later on in the night when traffic has eased up.
- Footwear – ladies, leave the Louboutins at home. You may get stuck walking, just accept it. Gentleman – BLACK SHOES. (Not even sure why guys wear shoes other than black but that’s a rant for another time.)
- Make sure your plans are figured out at least one week in advance. DJs, promoters, and other industry folk HATE the “Last Minute Louies” who try to finagle comp spots several hours before the ball drop. “We haven’t spoken in 3 years, but yes of course I can get you VIP list for Gramatik tonight”
If you were too caught up in the holiday melee and don’t have solid plans, expect to pay. It’s New Years — every venue is trying to make a buck because they can.This is includes a late, late night plan…
- It doesn’t take long to figure out that January 1st – January 2nd is “carte blanche” for licensed venues. What do I mean by that? Most venues receive a 24 hour liquor license New Years Day. Need it in layman’s terms? Afterhours a-plenty. Be prepared for a late one… in fact, get ready for battle…
- So you’ve managed to get yourself on the list for an exclusive afterhours party with DJ Rack-A-Ribs (or whatever deep house name). Good for you. Here are some pro-tips for your first foray into the land of the afters…
a) bring sunglasses (you will be partying when it’s light out)
b) bring cash (most ragers turn into cash only, or set high minimums on cards)
c) bring your own booze (only if you can hide it well, a lot of places will search)
d) Did I mention be prepared for a late one? (some DJs don’t even begin their sets until 5am!)
- And of course, recovery: make sure you have plenty of food and drinks in your house. And don’t make any plans for following day… maybe even the day after the following day.
Happy New Year!
Came across these girls the other night who were out celebrating their friend’s birthday.
This OAK custom outfit was made for birthday girl BabyDewd in collaboration with Atelier Alexa . The outfit was a bubble wrap jacket and pants with baby pink fur accents. (It also helped that the girl looked just like model/actress Rosie Huntington-Whitley.)
Not sure if this was just a one-off design, but it’s a dope mix of artsy, innovative, and sexy — we know Rihanna would be all over it. We hope to see more lewks from this duo!
Daddy’s Girl – petite subterranean lounge in Flatiron. You gotta know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy to get in.
Tilt – new spot in Brooklyn, brought to you by the owners of the now-defunct EV mainstay Lit.
Don’t say we never did anything for ya…
As girls desperately wrapped their newly adolescent bodies in tight fitting American Apparel dresses hoping to mask their ultimate loneliness and longing to fit in. Their perky breasts and fleshy baby fat swarthed in cheap cotton that made them look like an army of no one. It completely hid and took away any sense of identity or originality. It may as well have made them targets for predatory men to slip something in their Sparks.
They voraciously swayed back and forth to songs they would hear in the background on the radio when their parents drove them home. They now understood why their parents listened to this music.
They didn’t know at the time, but they would one day look back and consider this the best time of their lives. It wasn’t because of the music or the “scene”. It was the carefree time of their lives — no bills, no parents, no jobs… Not to mention the lack of socioeconomic turmoil and techno-social anxiety.
But the struggling to belong was too great, no one would realize this until much later in life…
I wonder if certain fathers are aware of when their pubescent-budding sons will surpass their own manliness. Do they realize that their sons will grow up to be a tougher man than they are? Are they proud of this fact? Or, like all men who are in constant guarding of their masculinity, are they fearful?
The eternal question… Run for the hills, honey.